The Mongoose
The paperwork authorizing another Liam Neeson rampage is finally in order.
In other words, the ’goose is loose.
Clayface
A desperate man agrees to experimental surgery and wakes up with a superhero franchise where his face used to be. Deadpool. Clayface. I’m starting to suspect Hollywood’s plastic surgeons waive their fees if you let them keep final cut.
But Nip/Fuck-it here we go.
Street Fighter
If all that sounds like I’m gratuitously throwing shit at the wall, welp you have a working understanding of Street Fighter, give or take some dick jokes. Evaluating whether this Pollock painting of electro-vomit succeeds would first require getting my head around what the hell it’s trying to do. And I’m convinced that doing so would mean missing the point altogether.
The Social Reckoning
Reckoning is ultimately more invested in proving its case than making us feel the consequences of winning it.
Which is the hilariously inescapable fucking irony.
Here’s a movie about a company that perfected the art of keeping people engaged without making them feel connected that leaves us feeling like we’re just scrolling the investigation’s feed.
Digger
Digger is like a Zillow listing describing a room with six chandeliers, leopard carpet, and an in-floor jacuzzi as “eclectic maximalism.” Sometimes a mess just has a media consultant.
Verity
Finally we get to the headboard-biting meat of it.
Primetime
The only critical conclusion I’ll provide is that Primetime is absolutely worth watching. Some asshole standing outside the theater with a clipboard telling you how much you’re required to give a shit when it’s over, however, isn’t worth swerving for.
The End of Oak Street
Nothing restores perspective to a strained marriage quite like several tons of prehistoric relationship counseling arriving through a wormhole.
Resident Evil
It’s creepy, gratuitously adorned with slime, and oh so long overdue.
Practical Magic 2
Sometimes the magic works. Sometimes you just own the IP.
Spider-Man: Brand New Day
Alas, enter the Punisher, our marvelously ironic savior from further punishment.